when i was a teenager i was told that i have a baby face. i was also told that one day i'd appreciate looking younger than i actually am.
i went to buy a lotto ticket a couple of days ago [funny how i'm more optimistic about the odds when i'm broke]. i'm a pretty good lip-reader so if i'm in a shop and carrying out a simple transaction i often leave my headphones in my ears and my music playing. as i handed my lotto tickets to the guy behind the counter he seemed to be asking me how i was. so i told him i was fine, and i even threw in the obligatory 'you?' but he asked me again, and so i took out my left earbud and asked him to repeat himself.
man: how old are you?
me: how old am i? i'm 27!
man: oh. sorry. i wasn't sure if you were old enough to play lotto.
me: how old do you have to be to play?
me: so i look 15?
man: you could pass.
so um...when does this become flattering? i mean, it's already hilarious, but when will it feel like a compliment? when will i respond to erroneous guesses at my age with a fluttering of my eyelashes and a coy 'oh, stop!'?
the older i get, the more i realise that i actually love being the age i am. i always feel like i've earned the next year i step into. the first few weeks might feel a little weird, and as time goes by it can sometimes take me that extra second to remember my age, but when i do remember it i always feel snug and comfy and warm. it always feels right. because of this, i have a sense that i'm gonna feel 60 at 60, and love 70 at 70. i get that it's supposed to be a positive thing that people think i look younger than i am, but i actually prefer it when someone gets it right. that's when the eyelashes flutter. that's when i get coy.
there's a lot of life, love, loss and joy in this 27 year old face. i like it to be seen.