or rather, i guess the internet is not where i like to speak these days.
no twitter, facebook, or myspace in my life. and although this blog is sitting here, i don't use it. even writing this entry feels strange. who am i talking to? i feel a tad crazy.
i've had some amazing things happen to me since i stopped posting my thoughts and feelings online. i've had great days, and evenings, with friends; i've started some new hobbies; my health has improved significantly; i've received hand-made gifts from friends overseas; i've read some incredible books; i've reclaimed lost memories; i've reclaimed lost art; i've met someone...someone very special.
and yet i haven't posted about any of it. i haven't wanted to. i haven't even thought to. if the brilliant things that i've experienced haven't resulted in a blog post, then i have to accept that nothing will. when i shut my social networking pages down i wondered why this blog survived, and what i would do with it, but i haven't really done anything. [again, who am i talking to? this feels so narcissistic and weird.]
ah well, public internet expression served me for 6 1/2 years. it started with black planet [i know], and it ends here.
as the years pass, and everything continues to change, i am becoming more opposed to defining my life in terms of what i do. i have been many things in my 28 years [cashier, receptionist, administrator, management information assistant, service development officer, manager, publicist, journalist...], and i have wanted to be many more things.
that's life. it moves, it breathes, things are born and they die, be they professions or dreams. and so this question, "what do you do?", is outdated to me. it doesn't necessarily tell us anything about someone that points to who they are, or who they will be in the future. i know that i'm a writer, and that i'd like to be able to feed myself from my talent, but when i'm asked what i want to do with my life i don't see myself in front of a computer, or with pen and pad in hand. i see myself in the sunshine, running on a beach, laughing with friends, and lots of other hedonistic things.
i'm know i'm over-thinking this. i know that when people ask "what do you do?" they are not asking you to sum up your existence for all eternity, but still, the romantic in me wishes the only valid answer to this question was "live."