"god always gives you something."

these were the words my mother spoke as we watched a little blind girl sing her heart out on television. her voice was stunning, and although i was no more than 12 yrs old, my mother's words really registered.

there's this guy i know that has the WORST breath. it kicks. i'm talking capoeira type spins and praying mantis type height. and it's like this all the time. all the time. it ain't that 'i just woke up' or even that 'i'm hungry' breath. it's more like that 'i have a small animal rotting in my stomach' type breath. the kinda breath they might not let you bring on the plane because it's considered a toxic substance. now i'm not saying i haven't karate-chopped a nostril or two in my day [if you know me and you think i got that all the time breff too then please be a friend and holler at me immediately], but this guy's breath is just...bad. it's so bad that after he's met friends of mine he is forever referred to by his breath, not his name.

but there's something else about him that bugs me out. he is forgettable. more than once he has told me that he knows someone that i know, but when i mention him to them i'm always met with a 'who?'. sometimes he describes them as friends, sometimes they're acquaintances, sometimes they've worked together; but whatever it is, i'm invariably met with confusion and blank stares when i tell the other person about him.

and now i come to the lightbulb moment: god always gives you something.

i guess jesusbuddhaallah was making this guy in heaven and realised that they'd missed that vital 'memorable' ingredient, that spice that keeps you in someone's mind and heart. "damn! it's too late to fix this now. what can i dooooo? hmm.....i'll make his breath spicy! they might not remember him, but they'll sure as hell remember this aroma."

except: as bad as the scent that his oral dungeon emits is, it's still not enough. supposed friends, acquaintances and colleagues are still like 'who?'. so now he's gotta go through his whole forgettable life with wholly unforgettable breath.

ain't that a bitch?


  1. Funny but tragic.

  2. ha!

    I'm sure you know I read (and laugh.out.loud) but I never comment. I just hope "the breath" isn't reading...

    Do you think he'd know the HE was "the breath"?

    See you in the week x