one.hundred.thirty


have you ever had someone hit on you with such deficient game that you didn't realise you were being hit on? or rather: you couldn't believe that was their attempt at hitting on you?

i was helping a customer pick out some jeans yesterday when he touched my elbow and said "what's your story?"

um.....


i was confused, but always one to give the benefit of the doubt i thought that he might be a writer. nope. he was a lawyer. cue more awkward customer service from me and off-putting, far-too-intense-considering-i-don't-know-you glances from him. then he asked me my name, and i told him. of course i wouldn't have if we were anywhere else, but you can't exactly withhold your name from a customer. so he asks me if i'm nigerian. nope. i tell him that, although my name is nigerian, my parents are from the caribbean. he then exclaims "see! you DO have a story!"


we didn't have the jeans he wanted in his size, so he told me [whilst giving me the eye-strangle] that he'd be back on wednesday or thursday. i suppose i was supposed to confirm that i'd be working those days. nope. i just said "ok." cue the most disturbing three-second linger from him, searching my eyes, looking for a sign that i too was feeling some kind of connection...

nope!

and if he walks into my store tomorrow i will play the most gangsta game of one-player hide and seek that you have ever seen in yo' life.

that's my story.

4 comments:

  1. LOLOLOL! Oh my gosh. "WHAT!?" is right.

    O.F.C.J.

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  2. Wooooooooooooooah! Ok, so that was the wrong sort of direct, maybe. At least he was forward? lol (corny though)

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  3. Lmfao. Totally been there. At least he didn't try to touch you, or have u try on a pair of jeans for his "girlfriend". Aaaahaa

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  4. AHAHA!!
    Here's my story about some game-less fool trying to flirt:

    On World AIDS Day I was in the computer lab at school, updating my twitter account on some random fact about HIV/AIDS, and this random boy next to me is creeping on my computer and obnoxiously says: "Damn! Is that true?! Wow, where did you find that out?" And then starts trying to chat with me. I'm like, hello, we are not friends. This is a cotdamn computer lab. Eyes to the front.

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