have you ever had someone hit on you with such deficient game that you didn't realise you were being hit on? or rather: you couldn't believe that was their attempt at hitting on you?

i was helping a customer pick out some jeans yesterday when he touched my elbow and said "what's your story?"


i was confused, but always one to give the benefit of the doubt i thought that he might be a writer. nope. he was a lawyer. cue more awkward customer service from me and off-putting, far-too-intense-considering-i-don't-know-you glances from him. then he asked me my name, and i told him. of course i wouldn't have if we were anywhere else, but you can't exactly withhold your name from a customer. so he asks me if i'm nigerian. nope. i tell him that, although my name is nigerian, my parents are from the caribbean. he then exclaims "see! you DO have a story!"

we didn't have the jeans he wanted in his size, so he told me [whilst giving me the eye-strangle] that he'd be back on wednesday or thursday. i suppose i was supposed to confirm that i'd be working those days. nope. i just said "ok." cue the most disturbing three-second linger from him, searching my eyes, looking for a sign that i too was feeling some kind of connection...


and if he walks into my store tomorrow i will play the most gangsta game of one-player hide and seek that you have ever seen in yo' life.

that's my story.


  1. LOLOLOL! Oh my gosh. "WHAT!?" is right.


  2. Wooooooooooooooah! Ok, so that was the wrong sort of direct, maybe. At least he was forward? lol (corny though)

  3. Lmfao. Totally been there. At least he didn't try to touch you, or have u try on a pair of jeans for his "girlfriend". Aaaahaa

  4. AHAHA!!
    Here's my story about some game-less fool trying to flirt:

    On World AIDS Day I was in the computer lab at school, updating my twitter account on some random fact about HIV/AIDS, and this random boy next to me is creeping on my computer and obnoxiously says: "Damn! Is that true?! Wow, where did you find that out?" And then starts trying to chat with me. I'm like, hello, we are not friends. This is a cotdamn computer lab. Eyes to the front.